Zionaxel hair repair....

Zionaxel my Mr Hyde..

2010-08-30T12:40:00.000-07:00

The original idea for my blog was to inform people about my hair repair but its such a slow process that as you can imagine there are a lot of not much going on moments . You have a look every now and then to see any growth. Its hard to tell i keep my hair pretty short but after 6 months you can definatly see in places something going on. Luckily well not sure if its luck but its all taking part at the back of my head so im not constantly looking in the mirror to see whats occuring .

Blog world is a hell of lot different than the real one, like the forum which i had mentioned earlier its almost a place to go and hide but do it in a way to really open up to show anyone who is curious what you think and how you feel without anyone knowing who you are, bar a few. When i think about what i can discuss here compared to the real world its almost like living in a parallel universe.Openly talking about being the victim of a horrid mistake , mine for voluntery misjudgement and the Doctor who should of known better.

This in the real world i never discuss, i mean do you think i sit there in the pub and rant and rave about getting my head sown on backwards and talking about sticking hair from my beard onto the top of my head. My mates would think what the fuck his gone totally nuts. Or sitting there commending someones 6000 graft fue and talking about 1000 in the bank, no absouletly not.

I sometimes wonder who this Zionaxel actually is, i have discussed about the online persona the silly username which people develop . For me Zionaxel is the guy who made a mistake at the age of 26 who cant turn the clock back but who is going through a process of being able to openly discuss what had happened to me. Something in the real world i cannot and wont do. If i do its only with people who got to know me as Zionaxel, then they meet the real me. Not much different but very level headed and just a normal working guy.

The one thing that Zionaxel and me have in common is we certainly dont feel sorry for ourselves.Having a bad hairtransplant compared to someone who has terminal cancer or finding out your kid has Leukemia is nothing, ok its not nice but its not enough of a reason for it to screw your life up and constantly feel that things could of been so much better, IF.

No i dont have a split personality and Zionaxel is me but if i hadnt become a silly username on a website for one this repair would of never of started and two i wouldnt of started a blog. Well maybe it would of been about Carp fishing and how many of them are there.

Self pity..

2010-08-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

I was going to reply to a post i just read on one of the forums. But im in a tricky position people actually voted for me so i could have a repair so i feel my hands are tied to be critical of someone who feel´s when going for an H.T its a repair.This middle age chaps hair looked fine , even after many surgerie´s it looked natural and that is the whole point of a H.T.

This was not a repair it was a touch up , people who have contacted me over the past year who are in the same boat as me there having a repair, they were butchered. There lives have been turned upside down and basically fucked up. Having your hairline lowered and adding more density to a perfectly natural look for a middle age man is not a repair, please do not compare yourself to us the real butchered.

Four and a half month´s post op..

2010-06-22T02:49:00.000-07:00

I shave my head either using 0000 on the clippers or if i know i may have to take my cap off i use a Gillette Fusion. Since having FUE into the scar´s i really dont look too carefully to see if any hair is coming through.I know i should but luckily im not to paranoid about the whole thing.

Last look i could see some small hairs coming through, in patches i might add but something.

So all cool with me , slowly but surely..

5 weeks post op..

2010-03-29T02:39:00.000-07:00

All good after 5 weeks most of the FUE into the scar´s have shed no sign of red in the scar´s, maybe a little red in the flap but you can hardly see it . Beard area where over 300 graft´s where taken has healed well .Im going to wait till the summer to shave my head with a blade but use the 0000 blade on the clippers which is almost bald but not quite.

This is the not much to say post regard´s hair, signing off.

Ethics..

2010-03-04T23:15:00.000-08:00

Just read my last post, miserable git eh. Amazing what a few days can do . Im having the busiest week i have ever had at work my business is doing really well and i love my job.Be your own boss its the only way cuts out all the crap.

The head is healing well, actually forgot about it to tell the truth. For a while it was the only thing to think about now luckily its not . Looking after it but its falling down the pecking order of life. Means only one thing , its doing what it was supposed to do .

Having a H.T in my book is not about miraculously improving what is going on in your head, that wont happen . If your screwed up before an H.T you most likely will be afterwards too.Most likely different for repair work as we are most likely nuts anyway.

About Ethic´s , i have most likely been reading too much lately but some things have caught my eye . When should someone have a hairtransplant? Is a really good question, i saw recently a guy who had a transplant who personally i feel should not of had one. Next to no hairloss a slight recession and a really good head of hair, cut and styled right would of looked the biz the way it was.Well this new dense packed hairline will obviously look good when its all grown out.But what in a few years when he starts to loose hair behind the fue? The clinic have now bought themselves what 3 or 4 ops over the next coming years, good money one thinks.

But hey H.T is a business like any other , there are the good guys and those that see a weakness and go for it.Just make sure you know before you have one , its a fix for your hair not whats going on in your head that will need something else......

Ups and downs..

2010-03-01T01:52:00.000-08:00

8 days post op the itching has gone now which is good as it got on my nerve´s and sleeping is a lot easier.Been keeping everything clean as possible, had the first wet shave a couple of days ago felt really good after 2 weeks of not shaving.

One minute your up the next you are down, is this a loosing battle ? Is it all worth it ? These are some of the thought´s going on in my head at the moment.Strange as yesterday it was all positive ,it is a psychological rollercoaster.

I much prefer thinking about what im going to do at the weekend or whether my team is going to win tonight than whats my head going to look like after all this..

Bottom line is it couldn´t look worse so for the down´s the answer is pull yourself together stop feeling sorry yourself and bloody get on with things. As for the ups there is something to hold on and hope for .

Again for years none of this was ever a issue only a inconvenience,now that the ball has started rolling it has obviously got more into my head so im thinking about it a lot more than i ever had before, which is not a good thing.

I hate wimps and moaner´s but most of all people who dont try those that always think that life has given them a rough ride, why didnt i get that or how come you did? I totally believe in hard work pays off, so with my repair this wont be easy and i know im not going to be this wonderful before and after picture deep down i wish i was i really do, that is not going to happen i have to wright this down so i understand that myself and come to terms with it.But i am going to look a hell of a lot better and for that i am truly grateful..

The long road ahead.

2010-02-23T11:27:00.000-08:00

So it has started

Preparation for a Hairtransplant..

2010-02-15T01:57:00.000-08:00

I have 6 days before the start of my hair repair, i haven´t shaved for a couple of days already started to look like a bum, stopped pulling the grey ones out as soon as i found out you can put them on top of your head . So every hair becomes sacred. Someone just asked how i was , you know every day conversation but he was definatly checking out the stubble.Stubble generally means life is shit and your stearing out of control, i was like yea all fine here mate. Looking forward to my winter holiday(another lie), why does HAIR always become a lie ?
Of course im not telling him the real reason why i have next week off, anyone with a bad hairtransplant will relate to the lies we sometimes have to come up with.
But could i look at it in another way, whats it got do to with him anyway?

As for preparation , been doing my research most of it is about the healing period. No pain thanks. I will let the Doc do his thing, im in a different place to 14,15 yrs ago . I have spent the last 2 or 3 yrs going over the forums seen a couple of very good H.T´s in the flesh been in contact with some outstanding people and have pure trust in the people i will meet this coming Saturday.

So even though the clock is ticking im not too nervous about the whole thing, i think the best way for me to look at things is be cool and take it easy.

Forums...

2010-02-09T01:34:00.000-08:00

These are strange places to go and get lost in, a great place for information a place to vent your anger somewhere for sympathy also those craving for attention,im not sure how many times you need to be told that your H.T looks good and how many different forums you have to post the same thing in.
They are a place for everyone, doesn´t matter your reason for joining one. I would be a hypocrite to ever slate anyone for using the FORUM.

For me it was a place for information, somewhere people like me could find out about this problem we all share. There are so many different category´s of US. Those like me who made a mistake back in the bad ol days ,pre mass internet use that is, who are either trying to come to terms with a bad H.T or looking for a solution . Then there is the younger crowd devastated by hairloss. Evan in this day and age with all this information it still seems to me some are making recklass decision´s that will affect the rest of there life,not always for the best.

This where my story gets interesting, regarding the FORUM. This same chap who had p.m me a couple of years back about other forum´s you should check out again sent me a message about a Pro-bono offer by a clinic in Belgium. I hadn´t been on the forum for a while dont know why just hadnt busy with work i suppose.

What makes it interesting is the forum members can vote for who they want to have the pro-bono.There was 3 of us who stood out ,the 3 most desperate.

Well i didnt win the vote , finished 3rd and i was quite proud of that. But what got to me was people had voted for me who i had never met and i really appreciated this. Im not even a big poster,generally post the odd remark here and there,not too good at conversation over a keyboard can talk my arse off in the flesh mind you.

Then im contacted by the Clinic who offered the help and said even though you finished 3rd they would still like to help the 2nd and 3rd place to see what they can do.

A very strange feeling i got during all this, people who i dont know and they dont know me are willing to help.

I have lifelong best mates known each other since we were 2 or 3 yrs old , that i cant speak to about this but there are complete strangers who can help me.All completely surreal .

So even though the FORUM is a form of mass escapizm, where we all have silly names and become this different person, there is a real sense of reality and humanity about them.A place we can go and feel re assured we are not the only one in the shit..

So the FORUM has now given me a once in a life time opportunity to attempt to put things right.

Wondering?

2010-02-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

A few year´s back i had a look through the net about what was going on in the world of the hairtransplant business. Not that i was too bothered about it as i was not going to down that path again but was just curious. I found a site from the states and read a few posts then a few more.Obviously something had been going on which i had not been following, there seemed to be a whole new world out there.

There was some extremely happy people posting these great before and after pictures. Trouble was i had been duped before so this all had to be some type of scam as well.But the more i got into it the more i could tell that the techniques nowadays had changed.

There was a thread where i posted about my ordeal at the hands of a butcher, i posted under a different name then. The response was un-real, i was not the only one out there that had gone through the same type of shit.One of the posters sent me a p.m telling me he had gone through the same type of thing and fully understood where i was coming from. He gave me a list of a few other forums to check out so i did.
This chap is a regular poster on what seems like quite a few forums,for him he has started a repair and the results are going well for him.

So im now WONDERING what if?

How to live looking like this..

2010-01-20T03:38:00.000-08:00

So the damage is done,the few that you have told about the operation are eager to see what has been done. The cap is on and im like well it has not healed yet but when it does you will be the first to see.Well that was 14 yrs ago and other than my wife and my parents no-one has seen me without my cap..
I think when i was younger i didnt mind too much about wearing the cap, i changed my clothing to go along with this new look.

So as time goes on people forget ,i forget and you get on with things.The cap becomes part of you , you make sure where you can go and where you cant.Then the problems start to arrive when your mates start to invite you to there weddings and this is when the excuses start.They have ranged from bad backs to im sick and about to die.Then you realize when was the last time you went to a decent restaurant because you cant go because you have to wear this cap.

But what happens you either let this shit get to you or you become hard its one or the other.You have to decide , i decided that fuck this i am not letting this get the better of me i just wont let this happen.So being a short bloke with a napoleon complex there was only one option and that was to become hard never let anyone take the piss never give them the chance always be one step a head. Always have an answer to the ´Why do you always wear a hat question` ,your defence is always to hit first.

More to come..

Where it all went wrong..

2010-01-18T23:40:00.000-08:00

Basically where do you start,about myself im not going to give too much away but im almost 41 yrs old and made a very serious mistake when i was 26yr´s old.

My hairloss had most likely started when i was at school,luckily it was mid 80´s and long hair was in so i grew it long to cover the hairline.It eventually became a kind of come over so i decided to have it cut very short but still trying to cover the receding hairline which by now was very obvious so i had started to get some comment´s about it which for some seemed to find funny but to me was like a kick in the teeth.

The hairloss got a lot worse as time went on but i seemed to be able to cope with it.I had a girlfriend who never judged me by this and was totally supportive about it.She could see how it had affected me ,she became my wife and we are still together today .I know without her there was no way i could of handled the disfigurement which i was about to have done to me.

Like many i had read some articles in fitness magazines about different type of miracle hair cures ,each one sounding better than the next.

I can remember the article very well,and this is where you start think if only i hadn´t bought that copy things could be different today and i would not be at my keyboard writing this at the moment.

The guy was roughly the same age as me maybe not quite as much hairloss but the before and after pictures were incredible, he looked exactly how i wanted to look. He gave a very detailed account of how he felt about hairloss and how the this undetectable surgery and changed his life.

From this moment on i was hooked, you have to remember this is the early 90´s i most likely had never used a computer before and there was not the source of information that is around today.

So i searched for the Doctor who was going to give my hair back. I knew it was not going to be the same Doc as i had read about in the magazine as we lived in different parts of the world.But hey there all professional otherwise they wouldn´t be doing what they are doing,right?

So i found MY Doc, the price seemed to good to be true,i can afford this great. He promised me the results will be amazing and my life will change.He was right about one of those two predictions anyway.I had quite a few consultation´s before hand and i felt like i was in good hands,or so i thought.

Its amazing now how i can remember this as for years i totally blocked this from my mind like most victims generally do and if we are to be honest here this is what we are,victims trying to come to term´s with what has happened to us.

The day of the operation,oh i forgot to mention im about to have FLAP surgery,its where a large strip of hair is placed from the back of your head to the front,easy. It goes from one side of your head to the other given you instant hair,fantastic.

Anyway back to the day of the op im thinking right im going to get hair ,thats all i could think about a total addiction im going to get hair .I dont care about the pain i will get hair.

So my girlfriend and i went to the clinic, which now looking at it looked more like a dentist . Waiting room literally yards from the small dingy backroom which was the operating theatre ,his one and only assistant is now telling me about how she has sowed hands back on in war zones around the world ,why she is telling me this im not quite sure.A hairline has now been drawn by pen onto my forehead ,which by the way i do miss(my forehead that is).

My head is now being spiked with what feels like a ball point pen being dug into my head.Then he starts to cut, i dont remember if it was the back or the top which he started first.But what i do remember is as the knife cut across the top of my head i could feel it and the pain almost sent me into a panic attack. I told him i can feel this so he got the pen out and started digging it back into my head again which hurt evan more.This all so knowledgeable man who for weeks of consultations seemed so in control now came across as a man who did not know what he was doing. This in mid operation im thinking shit what have i done, but its too late.Im buggered he has to complete this now ,he has evan started mumbling to himself. In my mind im thinking get me the fuck out of here.

The operation was over ,dont know how long it took. He tells me all is good apart from the flap was not long enough to cover the whole hairline but not to worry as you can come the hair over no-one will notice.I was so distressed that i was not sure where i was ,my head was bandaged and i remember walking back out into the waiting room with people looking at me and all i wanted to was get home. I was given no pain killers or anti-biotics. I was told come back in a week or so and the stitches will be taken out.

That week is a total blur other than pain,pain,pain.

Back in the docs office , i told half the flap has necrosis and it has to come off,ok what then ?

No worries he said we will take another flap from the other side,easy.

So for the next few months im left with a hole of puss in the middle of my head.I have no recollection of how i felt at this time i think the damage had been done.

3 months later with my scalp as tight as you can imagine i go back for the 2nd op.

This time only a few cm of the flap survived but a lovely nice hole in my head has managed to appear, with two huge scars down the back of my head and across my forehead a cut a Indian brave would of been proud of.

For quite a time after this i would go back to this madman and he had had enough of me and i of him.He had no idea of what to do next and i had lost all faith in him.

This is where my relationship with a baseball cap started,it became my friend as long as i have my trusty cap i will be fine.

I will write more,need a break from this now..